I Love You

Neither of us have said a word and it’s been like twenty minutes. Okay, five, and its extremely dark inside the car except for the high beams that blind us every few minutes as the car sits idling in park, the furthest stall from the Kum and Go gas station building, more discrete. The Romeo and Juliet movie soundtrack, the one with Leo, plays track 1 #1 Crush, which is sort of like one of our songs, and after more silence I turn and stare in her eyes, hazel, they smile back at me which calms me. I feel like telling her I love her. That terrifies me. What if she doesn’t feel the same? We’ve only been together for two thirds of summer break; maybe it’s too soon. That’s crazy, I know my what these feelings are, hell I’m 16, and she’s beautiful and awesome, and I do love her. Maybe I should just say it and get it out there. My stomach hurts. We look at each other again. More silence. Half smiles. Fine. “You know, um, I, well, I kind of have wanted to tell you… well, okay, we’ve been together for a while now and…” Dude your bombing, out with it, “well… I love you.”        

Let’s just throw the obvious right out there… the first time saying I LOVE YOU to someone is scary as shit! You get that painful feeling deep down in the gut and your breathing becomes erratic… ughh! And I think for a lot of us it doesn’t really get any easier with age. The first time is always like the first time all over again! ‘Cause unless you know beyond a shadow of a doubt the receiving partner feels the same way, there is always calculated risk when uttering this expression. Unless you’re drunk. Calculating may be out the window at that point.

What was it like the first time you said, “I love you” to someone? What was their response?

Fortunately, I’ve never had the heartbreaking response that usually goes, something like, silence and a hug. Or even worse, “I feel the same way?” Or even worser (on purpose) “I’m sorry, I just don’t feel the same.” To all the brothers out there that have had that happen, bummer man, that sucks. I have had heartbreak in plenty of other areas though so I don’t feel that terribly bad.

No matter what though, anyone who can honestly throw out, “I love you” and mean it has courage. ‘Cause it takes a lot to throw yourself out there and risk that sort of rejection. The expression love is pain was spoken for a reason, but when two people both have it together it can be a wonderful thing.   

Comments

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[Candice McIntosh]

Hmmm...Eric, I had the movie I love you and nothing beats it! Chad, great post, it was like I was almost there ;)

[Kysa]

Ok, from a girls perspective, i'm gonna tell you its even harder. You know me chad, i want to say it after a month, but for a girl you can't just say it or you look like a crazy stalker. and it gets WAY harder the older you get, when ur a kid ur a kid but at this age, you could potentially marry that person

[Eric Dwight]

For some reason everytime I've said 'I love you' for the first time with a girl, it was followed by a laugh and an 'I love you too'. I've never had the movie I love you's.